Savior

Our first kiss,
your shaking hands,
I felt the very curve of the earth,
as we stood still,
frozen in time.
Drinking you in,
a new kind of rapture,
your eyes swallowed me whole,
leaving me vulnerable,
exposed.
Whispering sweet nothings,
hanging by a thread,
completely intoxicated,
drowning in your bed.
Trapped beneath the surface,
gasping for air.
Crying out in blissful anguish,
losing myself again in your stare.
Waking up,
alone,
losing color,
filled with dread.
Empty sheets drenched in tears,
your voice ringing in my head.
Fragile,
trembling,
couldn’t breathe.
I’d hear your words,
imagine your hands,
but nobody else was there.
Then suddenly,
you’d reappear.
Felt whole again,
my breath of air.
Holding on for dear life,
a fleeting thing.
Slipping through my fingers,
like sand,
and then gone again.
An agonizing dance,
until no more.
Packed my bags,
said farewell,
I was coming home.
Unbroken trust and shakeless faith,
to the ends of the earth,
I followed,
but not yet awake.
Cracking,
splintering,
oblivious to me.
The sky was falling,
landmines,
but paradise was almost in reach.
Over before it began,
blind to the outside.
All I could see was your smile,
not the panic in your mind.
The sunlight hid,
clouds overhead,
snow fell from the sky,
piercing my lungs,
and my skin.
But a lingering warmth,
as I drank in deep red.
Hushed promises of safety,
again in your bed.
Filled with darkness,
drowning and broken,
was all lost,
should I give myself to the ocean?
Faith held,
I believed.
My last hope,
gave in to sleep.
Woke ready to fight,
rolled up my sleeves.
But you had already surrendered,
there would be no victory.
Another promise made,
but that gaze exposed your lies.
Your eyes full of defeat,
a part of me just died.
Suddenly,
I no longer believed.
Cast away to the ice,
you left me to freeze.