Afraid to be Human
by Scriptwriter Mika
He screams,
She tries to soothe.
He lashes out verbally,
She takes the hits.
He drinks,
She cleans up after him.
He cries,
She cries too.
She hurts him,
He hurts her right back.
They fight,
They argue,
They bicker,
And they usually make up.
He tries to be there for her,
He does,
She knows that,
She loves that about him.
She loves his heart,
His soul,
She loves him.
She loves it when they’re happy,
When he looks and treats her like she’s the only thing in this world that matters to him.
She loves his kisses,
His touch,
She loves the smiles, the laughter, the ease that they can be at when they’re with one another,
When things are happy.
But he is broken and the jagged pieces also pierce her.
He is broken,
And she tries to fix him.
He is broken,
And a lot of times she has no idea what the hell she should do.
She shouts,
She screams in her head,
A place where no one can hear her.
What the hell should she do?
She wants someone to tell her how to fix this,
How to fix him,
How to say the right words.
She wants to stop hurting.
He makes her happy,
But hurts her so much in the process.
Please, someone tell her what to do.
She loves him,
She won’t leave,
But she’s afraid that at times,
There won’t be a person to stay with,
No matter what she does.
She doesn’t think it’s fair at times,
She takes so many of his verbal blows,
His broken promises,
She’s still stuck around all the time.
She hates how she was the one that unhinged him,
How she was the one that made it too much,
How she was the one that made everything finally tip over.
It’s not fair!
It’s not fair!
It’s not fair!
He’s so goddamn fragile at times.
She’s human,
Can you all understand that?
But she’s so afraid to be human around him at times,
Because the wrong words,
Can tip that delicate balance they try to so hard to keep.
She feels she can’t get angry,
That she shouldn’t show whenever she’s hurt,
Or when she’s vulnerable,
Or when she’s irritable.
She doesn’t want to show her bad side,
She doesn’t want him to see her when she’s at her worst,
Making accusations at him,
“Beating him to the ground”,
As he so kindly puts it.
But everyone has those moments,
When they think they’re right,
And no one else is.
Maybe she didn’t choose the right words,
But suddenly he’s falling and she can’t catch him.
She can’t fix him!
She thinks she means less to him now,
Because she was human.
It hurts,
It hurts,
It hurts.
She was supposed to be happy.
She wanted to be happy these last few days.
Why couldn’t that have happened?
Happiness slips so freely from her fingers.
Maybe she’s damned,
Damned never to truly hold onto such a thing,
Because every time the chance comes,
Something else makes it come crashing down.
It hurts that he can’t fully trust her,
The words he said last night still hurt,
They sting,
His jagged pieces,
Marring her mind.
But she doesn’t want to give up on him,
On them,
On their future.
She can’t,
She won’t,
She will not give up.
Don’t give up,
Don’t give up,
Don’t give up!
Her heart shouts that at her.
She can’t give up,
Because there’s still so much to fight for.
Because she’s selfish,
Because she loves him.
But perhaps she has to rethink her methods again
Perhaps she must once again slip into that mode of inhuman patience,
Of a softer tone,
Into a person that listens,
Not talks back.
Into a person that keeps smiling and reassuring him through the pain,
Even if she breaks inside.
Into a person that hopes that through all the broken promises,
Though all of hurts, arguments, fights,
That things can and will work out.
Into a person that keeps her mouth shut,
That tries not to pass judgement,
That gently prods,
And only digs if something’s terribly wrong.
Hell,
Maybe she should stop being human again,
And start screaming once more in her head,
Where people won’t hear her,
Because she would rather slip back into that role then watch him break.
She tries to soothe.
He lashes out verbally,
She takes the hits.
He drinks,
She cleans up after him.
He cries,
She cries too.
She hurts him,
He hurts her right back.
They fight,
They argue,
They bicker,
And they usually make up.
He tries to be there for her,
He does,
She knows that,
She loves that about him.
She loves his heart,
His soul,
She loves him.
She loves it when they’re happy,
When he looks and treats her like she’s the only thing in this world that matters to him.
She loves his kisses,
His touch,
She loves the smiles, the laughter, the ease that they can be at when they’re with one another,
When things are happy.
But he is broken and the jagged pieces also pierce her.
He is broken,
And she tries to fix him.
He is broken,
And a lot of times she has no idea what the hell she should do.
She shouts,
She screams in her head,
A place where no one can hear her.
What the hell should she do?
She wants someone to tell her how to fix this,
How to fix him,
How to say the right words.
She wants to stop hurting.
He makes her happy,
But hurts her so much in the process.
Please, someone tell her what to do.
She loves him,
She won’t leave,
But she’s afraid that at times,
There won’t be a person to stay with,
No matter what she does.
She doesn’t think it’s fair at times,
She takes so many of his verbal blows,
His broken promises,
She’s still stuck around all the time.
She hates how she was the one that unhinged him,
How she was the one that made it too much,
How she was the one that made everything finally tip over.
It’s not fair!
It’s not fair!
It’s not fair!
He’s so goddamn fragile at times.
She’s human,
Can you all understand that?
But she’s so afraid to be human around him at times,
Because the wrong words,
Can tip that delicate balance they try to so hard to keep.
She feels she can’t get angry,
That she shouldn’t show whenever she’s hurt,
Or when she’s vulnerable,
Or when she’s irritable.
She doesn’t want to show her bad side,
She doesn’t want him to see her when she’s at her worst,
Making accusations at him,
“Beating him to the ground”,
As he so kindly puts it.
But everyone has those moments,
When they think they’re right,
And no one else is.
Maybe she didn’t choose the right words,
But suddenly he’s falling and she can’t catch him.
She can’t fix him!
She thinks she means less to him now,
Because she was human.
It hurts,
It hurts,
It hurts.
She was supposed to be happy.
She wanted to be happy these last few days.
Why couldn’t that have happened?
Happiness slips so freely from her fingers.
Maybe she’s damned,
Damned never to truly hold onto such a thing,
Because every time the chance comes,
Something else makes it come crashing down.
It hurts that he can’t fully trust her,
The words he said last night still hurt,
They sting,
His jagged pieces,
Marring her mind.
But she doesn’t want to give up on him,
On them,
On their future.
She can’t,
She won’t,
She will not give up.
Don’t give up,
Don’t give up,
Don’t give up!
Her heart shouts that at her.
She can’t give up,
Because there’s still so much to fight for.
Because she’s selfish,
Because she loves him.
But perhaps she has to rethink her methods again
Perhaps she must once again slip into that mode of inhuman patience,
Of a softer tone,
Into a person that listens,
Not talks back.
Into a person that keeps smiling and reassuring him through the pain,
Even if she breaks inside.
Into a person that hopes that through all the broken promises,
Though all of hurts, arguments, fights,
That things can and will work out.
Into a person that keeps her mouth shut,
That tries not to pass judgement,
That gently prods,
And only digs if something’s terribly wrong.
Hell,
Maybe she should stop being human again,
And start screaming once more in her head,
Where people won’t hear her,
Because she would rather slip back into that role then watch him break.
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