Chapter One - Executive
It was my first day in the big city, and to my dismay, I was stuck inside. Mother hadn’t made a spare key yet, and she didn’t want me to leave without locking up. “Stay inside,” she had told me. How boring. Still, she had already managed to turn our nice little apartment into her nice little apartment. She had decorated her room and stuffed her dresser with all of her favorite things. The windows all had fine, silk drapes. The kitchen was fully operational, but the fridge was empty. We hadn’t had time to go shopping, yet. Mom said she’d bring something home. There was a TV mounted in the living room, but I really didn’t feel like watching any. Instead, I put on some of mom’s old jazz records on her old turntable, and opened up a book. I read for a good hour, and then let out a sigh. Tomorrow would surely be more fun, I told myself. And so I decided to find another way to entertain myself; I went into mother’s room and began to go through her things. I tried on her clothes, and her heels, which were actually starting to fit me properly. Though, walking around in them was a wobbly ordeal, and eventually I took them off. I sat at her vanity and did my hair, putting on one of her nightgowns and singing along with the music. I wandered back into the living room, enjoying the view of bustling city streets from our window. Eventually, it was back into mom’s room, to put her things away. Though, as I opened up the bottom drawer of her dresser, I found something that caught my attention. A fairly large black box, which I swiftly dragged to the bed and opened.
I stared at the open box for a good five minutes, contemplating over its contents, which were unfamiliar to me. I took one of them out- it was a long, tube-shaped object made of a clear, red plastic. There was a switch at the bottom, which I clicked on with a flick of my thumb. The object started to rumble, vibrating in my hand as I held it. Was it a massager? I had seen mother use a wand-like one before, on her neck. And so I decided to try it. I traced the object along my neck, and near my back. It really didn’t do anything for me. I ran it down my arms, down the middle of my chest. Then, out of sheer curiosity, I pressed it against the front of one of my breasts. The sensation startled me, causing it to drop down onto the bed. I picked it up, turned it off, and immediately closed the black box. I stuffed it back into the drawer and closed it, though I had left the vibrating object out. I carried it off to my room, making a silent promise that I’d try and figure it out some more later as I shoved it under one of my pillows.
Mother was home late, that night. She had picked up some Chinese take-out, and we ate fairly contently. Of course, I had been starving all day, but I wasn’t one to hold a grudge. At least, not with how amazing the food was. I had never had such great Chinese food. I asked her about her first day at her new job, and she seemed rather pleased.
“I’m working with a new man; a rich man. He’s going to give us lots of money to buy nice new things. What did you do all day, hm?” I slurped up the lo mein noodle I was in the process of eating, swallowing audibly as I responded to the question.
“Oh, you know. Watched some TV, played a couple records. I read a few chapters of a book-...” I tried to hide that guilty look on my face. I knew mom didn’t mind me going through her things, but... “Did you get the spare key made?” Mom reached into her coat’s pocket, pulling out a small, silver key. She slid it over to me, and I pocketed it.
“Now, you remember what I told you, right?
“Yes, yes. I can go wherever I want, as I long as I get home before you do. Otherwise you’re gonna, ‘let me have it.’ It’s impossible to be out as late as you are, mom. We’re eating at midnight and I’m about ready to pass out.”
“You can go out during the day tomorrow while mommy’s working, but I’m coming by around nine o’clock to pick you up. I’m still going to be working, but I’m going to a place where I can bring you.”
“I remember the last time you took me on a work thing. You left me there!”
“You’re never going to let me live that down, are you? I told you, work pulled me away. I came back and got you, didn’t I?” I was too distracted by stuffing a won-ton in my mouth to argue any further. After eating, I ran off to my room. Mom could clean up the mess, I was tired. I layed down on my new bed, which was exceptionally comfortable, and let my muscles relax. Though I remembered something, and pulled out that red vibrating machine out from under my pillow. I turned it on for a moment, stared at it, and then turned it back off. I could figure that thing out another day.
The next day, I woke up rather eagerly. Mother had already left for work, and today, the city was mine. I shuffled through my closet, trying to find something a New Yorker would wear. And then I asked myself, what would mom wear? My mom had bought me some black, strappy heels that I had worn only once. I wasn’t good at walking in them, but everyone had to learn eventually, and now was the time. If I was to be a real New York woman, I had to wear heels. And a dress- I had a few to choose from. Mom always picked out stylish things for me to wear. I decided on red one; it was sleeveless, and fell to my knees. The fabric was light, with a bit of sheer over a solid undercoat. I pulled a black sweater-shawl over my shoulders, worked my hair until it was curly, and threw on some lip gloss. Purse in-tow, I went out to wander-...albeit slowly. It was those shoes. How did mom walk in those things all the time? I got to the end of the block and made it to an apartment stoop, which I sat on. I didn’t even notice the boy who was sitting at the stoop on the other side of me. Not until I heard music.
The sound of strummed guitar strings began to fill the air, warm chords and gentle melodies almost visibly floating around me. I could see rivers, and meadows, and people dancing. Fish leaping from stream to stream, and kids playing, running around and catching fireflies. His music put such vivid daydreams in my mind, and for the longest time, I drifted off into la-la land. And then, I finally noticed the player himself. He was a boy, roughly my age, with curly black hair. He was dressed in jeans, a t-shirt, and a fluffy black jacket. I wondered if he lived there, or if he had simply stopped to play. I stayed until he stopped, and then got up as gracefully as I could in those shoes, and walked to him.
“Excuse me.” I looked at him, giving a shy smile. “I just wanted to thank you. Listening to you play really put me at ease, you know? This is my first day in the city, and-...” I stopped, rubbing a hand behind my head. “Thanks.” The boy stared at me for a moment, wide-eyed, and then laughed.
“You always come up to strangers and start talking to them? You’re lucky you didn’t stop and talk to somebody else. People in the city are pretty mean.”
“Your music! It..., was warm. I feel like I know you, already.”
“Yeah, you like it? I wanna work in a shop, one day. A coffee shop. Play a few tunes, get a few tips. Meet some ladies. You know how it is. What’s your name, kid?”
“Shay. Shay Silph. And I’m not a kid, I’m twelve.”
“Silph is a weird name. Haven’t heard that one before. And I’m thirteen, so I can call you, ‘kid,’ if I wanna. Shay, though, That’s pretty.” I felt my cheeks reddening at the compliment and gave an audible swallow. At least, it sounded loud in my own ears. “New in town, then? I’m Richie. C’mere, sit. Since you’re new in town and all, I’ll give you a front row seat. I normally make girls pay to sit with me while I play, y’know.”
“Oh! Um. I have money-”
“First rule of the city, kid. Don’t pay for nothin that’s free. People’ll try and trick ya. It’s every man or lady for themself. Now come on, sit.” I saw down next to him, and he tilted his head to look at me. He smiled a warm, genuine smile and started to play again. Suddenly, I could see him in a coffee shop, playing those strings in a corner full of warm, autumn colors. I could even smell the aroma of coffee beans, and hear the quiet chatter from table to table. And suddenly, the song shifted. There was a Spanish flair to his notes and chords, and I could see a dusty plain, lined with stone-brick buildings and thorny rose bushes. He stopped after a while, nudging me. “You wanna try?”
“I don’t know how.”
“I’ll teach you, c’mere.” He propped the wooden guitar on my knees, placing one of my hands on the frets and the other where one would strum. His touch made me a little nervous- I mean sure, I’d felt a boy nudge me before while playing or running around. But this was different, somehow. “Try putting your fingers like this...” He moved them around on the frets. “Okay, good. Now hit it.”
“Hit it?”
“Move your fingers across the strings.” And so I did. I gave them a stroke right across, and heard a fairly lovely sound fill the air.
“See, it’s easy. You just move your fingers around until you find chords that you like, and play like that. It’s how I started playing. Then you get into more complicated stuff. It’s not hard for me, I’m an expert." He took the guitar from me gently, and for a moment, I giggled.
“Right, right. Hey, I really want to walk around the city. Will you come with me? Make sure I don’t get lost?”
“Normally I make girls pay to have me walk them around.” He snickered. “But for you, Shay, I’ll do it for free. On one condition.” I looked at Richie and raised an eyebrow.
“What condition?”
“You go home and change out of those shoes. You look like a bird waddling off of its nest.”
“You..., saw that?”
“All of Manhattan saw that. Why’re you wearin those things, anyways?”
“A lady has to learn how eventually.”
“You’re twelve, kid. When you’re thirteen, you can practice. Go change. I’ll be here.” My first instinct was to run home, but after taking a step, I remembered my predicament. And so I walked, trying to look graceful, in the direction of home. After painstakingly making it up the stairs, to the elevator, and back inside, I swapped out my sandals for some black, knee-high boots. They were flat on the bottom, but still rather fashionable. Mother would never buy me something drab. Then came the running. I was worried, for a moment. What if I took too long, and he got tired of waiting and left? No, he said he’d be there. As I got to the end of the block, I slowed, walking; and there he was. Waiting just like he said he would. His guitar was in a case now, strapped to his back.
“Okay, Richie. I changed. Show me some cool places.”
“Easy, kid. You’re not ready for the cool places. But I’ll show ya around.” We walked for what felt like hours. We crossed busy streets and intersections, looked at all kinds of tall office buildings, and went by smaller shops. We passed vendors, and magazine stands, and hot dog carts. We stopped at one; Richie bought a soft pretzel. I took out some coins to buy my own, but Richie pulled me by the arm. We walked to a bench and sat, and he pulled apart his own pretzel, giving me half. “Here. I don’t wanna eat a whole one of these, I have to watch my boyish figure. What about you, huh? You one of those girls that come to New York with hopes of being a model or an actress or somethin?”
“No, nothing like that.” I took a small bite of my pretzel, enjoying its warmth and the taste of salt. “My mother has a new job out here, so we moved. We move a lot, actually. I’m not really sure how long we’re going to be here...- she does seem to like her new employer.”
“Movin around a lot, huh? That’s lame. This is the best city in the world, you know? You should try and stay a while.” He smiled and chewed at his pretzel, and I couldn’t help but smile back at him.
“Yeah. Maybe I will. Do you live in that apartment, you were playing in front of? I live just a block away from there.”
“Yeah, I do. My dad works for the city. Construction, or somethin. I don’t know, it’s boring. My mom died a few years ago. She got sick. And before ya go on and start saying you’re sorry to hear that and such, let me tell ya, my mom was a bitch. My dad and I came home one night to find her screwing some guy on the kitchen floor. Funny how these things happen. She was no nice lady.” I was a little stunned by his remarks, swallowing the last bite of my salty snack before giving a nod.
“I never met my dad. Mom’s never told me about him. Though, I’m fine with it, really. I’m okay with just mom.”
“Just okay?”
“Well, you know. Good.”
“Good, or okay?” I shook my head dismissively.
“Good, good. Traveling is fun, sometimes. She’s some fancy business relations expert or something like that. I’ve gotten to meet a lot of really cool people.”
“So your mom doesn’t have a boyfriend or anything like that?”
“She sees guys, sometimes. I don’t think she knows anyone here aside from her boss, though. We just moved here.” It started to get dark. It was still the cold-season, and the sun went down pretty early.
“You doin’ anything fun for Christmas this year? Gonna go to Time Square and see the big tree?”
“Oh, I’d love to do that! I’ve seen it on TV before but never in person.” Richie got up from the bench, then, and tugged me up by the arm.
“C’mon, let’s get ya home. You said you had to go somewhere, yeah?”
“Yeah. My mom wants to take me on some business thing. She thinks if she takes me once in a while, it makes up for time we miss together.” He led me by the hand, and we walked together.
“Sounds like your mom cares about ya, tryin’ to spend time with you and buy you fancy clothes. Still, it is kind of weird that you move all the time and have never been to a normal school.”
“Hey, my mom’s a great teacher.”
“I meant no disrespect, kid.” It probably took us another hour to walk home, but the hour seemed to fly by. Richie and I talked about all kinds of things, and the more I listened to the him talk, the more I came to like the city- and him. We got to his apartment first, and stopped. “We’re not stoppin’ here. You’re another block down, and I’m gonna walk ya. It’s dark. This neighborhood’s pretty good, but no kid should be walking alone. When you turn thirteen, we’ll talk.” I couldn’t help but laugh at his comment, and give no protest. We walked the rest of the block, until I was at the stairs leading into my apartment building.
“Thanks, Richie.”
“No need to thank me. I’m a gen-u-ine gentleman. You ever want another walk around, you know where to find me. But the freebie was a one-time-deal kinda thing. Next time you gotta pay up.”
“Alright, alright. Have it your way.” He gave a dismissive wave and started to walk away, when I called out to him.
“Richie!” He stopped. “I had a good time!”
“Of course you did!” He kept on walking, and I turned to walk up the steps- when a cab pulled up the curb. A window rolled down, and I heard my mother’s voice.
“Good, Shay, you’re already dressed.” I turned, looking at my mom in the back seat of the cab. “Get in.” She scooched over as I opened the door, and I sat down beside her. “You look pretty, honey! Did you have fun on your first day out on the town?” I nodded, blowing a curled bang out of my eyes.
“I had a lot of fun, mom! I met someone-...a boy. He was really nice.”
“Oooh, you met a boy? Was he cute?” My mom giggled, and suddenly I felt like I was talking to another twelve year old girl, instead of my mom.
“I don’t-..., I don’t know! He was playing his guitar and I listened for a while and then I asked him to show me around the city and he did. We got a pretzel and walked around and talked and stuff..., it was fun.”
“That’s great, Shay. You should have a friend while we’re here. Now, listen. This is a bit of a fancy dress party, of sorts...” There she was: mom again. She didn’t need to tell me that. My mom was wearing a long, slinky black dress with a slit on the side that rose to her thigh. It was backless, and cut off right above her voluptuous hips. She smelled like woman, wearing bright-red lipstick and tons of mascara, that made her green eyes pop like gemstones. “It’s at a nightclub. Mommy’s going to be spending time with her new boss and meeting his friends. I want you to sit at the bar and just hang out until I get settled in, okay?”
“Do you think that your boss-...what’s his name?”
“Mister Amblen.”
“Do you think he’s going to want us to stay for a long time?” Mom smoothed her dress out over her legs, sighing contently. “Oh, maybe. He paid a lot of money to send me here.”
“That’s why you stopped working for that creepy guy, right?”
“Right.” I stared out the window for a while, watching the bright city lights start to slur and look like racing colors.
“Will they even let me in there, underaged?”
“I’ve made some arrangements. Don’t you worry about a thing.” When we finally pulled up to our destination, I hadn’t even really noticed we were there. It didn’t stand out: the door was below ground, below a series of steps. I could hear the faint pulsing of a strong beat; we walked down inside, and I coughed. I could smell the strong stench of tobacco- I hated that smell. Mom gave a nod over to the bartender, who beckoned me over. I sat, and watched mom saunter off to the other side of the room. It wasn’t overly crowded inside, but certainly not empty. Most of the men there were suits, drinking glasses of alchohol and smoking cigarettes and cigars. Mother went up to one of the tables, slipping an arm around one of the men. He did look important, like the boss. I sighed. This was no fun! I thought back to earlier, to Richie. I was lost in daydreams for a while, that is, until the bartender set a glass down in front of me. I stared at it; it was full of a dark, brownish-gold liqueur.
“Try a little.” I stared at him, appalled. “Your mom said it was okay. It’s not too heavy, just a little rum and coke.”
“No..., thanks.” I slid the glass towards the bartender, glancing over at mom. They were all laughing; I think they were playing cards. Mr. Amblem had his hands on her rear, which made me quirk a brow. Was mom dating her boss again? I hated how confusing everything was. I thought back to that night, at the faire, to all of the men my mother had seen. An hour seemed to fly right by, and the smoke started to suffocate me. Everything looked and felt hazy. When the man at the bar was distracted by a skinny blonde wearing a silver mini-dress, I slipped out and walked outside. I looked around for a minute, still listening to the jazz track that had been booming for the last half-hour. At least, I think it was all one track. It all started to blend together after a while.
“Woah.” I had to admit, Manhattan looked really awesome at night. They had started to put up a few Christmas decorations: wreaths and white and red bulbs hanging from streetlights and building awnings. Everything felt so alive. The city was a living, breathing entity. I bit my lower lip, trying to decide how mad mom would be if I took off. After all, I didn’t have a cell phone. But who was I kidding? She probably wouldn’t even notice. The nibbling continued. Could I find my way home from here? I was suddenly very thankful that Richie made me change shoes earlier. I began walking in the direction that I was pretty sure home was in. I looked in the windows of some of the shops and restaurants, clinging to my sweater for warmth. It was cold: see your breath in the air kind of cold. I was really glad I brought it. I walked, and walked, and walked some more. I was humming, taking in the sights. As I walked a few blocks down, the neighborhoods started to look familiar and I felt a little more at ease. There was the hot dog cart we stopped at earlier, now partially covered and marked with a sign that said, ‘closed.’ It must be getting late, I thought. My stomach was rumbling; I hadn’t had the chance to eat before mom swooped in and grabbed me. There had to be something open. I had started walking a couple blocks in another direction, making note of how to get back, when I saw it. Those golden arches, above a sign that said, ‘24 hours.’
“Oh, thank God, McDonalds.” I raced inside and then slowed, walking to the counter. I opened up my little black purse, which I had been carrying around my shoulder on a lengthy silver chain. Just as I thought, I still had plenty of money. Mother gave me a hefty allowance, even if I didn’t ever have to do a lot of chores. Partially, just to prove that she could afford to do so. And also, because she knew she wasn’t always going to be around to make sure I was taken care of.
“Welcome to McDonalds. What can I get you?”
“I’ll take a fry, please. Um..., medium. A regular coke, and...a spicy chicken sandwich. That’s it.” I paid the cashier and sat for a minute or two until I went up and got my food. I ate it quickly, savoring the taste of salt on my fries and the taste of mayonnaise on my sandwhich. I glanced out the window. Even with the wild, untamed city and all of its culture, I could still enjoy eating at a familiar fast-food place. I licked my fingers, hoping that no one saw, and began the walk home.
It must have been eleven o’clock by the time I got to my block. I passed by Richie’s place; he must have been asleep, I figured. But there, on his stoop, was his guitar in its case. Had he left it out here, from earlier? I paused and thought about it. What if someone tries to steal it? Should I pick it up? I could bring it to him tomorrow. After a minute or two, or what felt like it, I leaned over to pick it up. To my surprise, the door opened.
“Woah, kid. What’re you doin?” I stared up at him, blinking. So he was still awake. He was wearing that same, fluffy black jacket and holding onto a mug giving off rising steam.
“I walked by and saw it here. I thought you left it.” I picked up the case, holding it close. “I didn’t want someone to steal it.”
“Someone like you?” He looked angry for a moment, and I felt like my heart was a sinking ship, falling in the ocean. But then, he smiled at me and burst into laughter, sending me back afloat. “You should see the look on your face! You look like you just got caught shoplifting. Sit down, will ya?” And so we sat, side-by-side. “So..., you gonna give that back?” He pointed at the guitar.
“I don’t know, Richie. Boys normally have to pay for me to give them their guitars back...”
“Oh yeah, hot shot? What’re you chargin me, then?” I tapped a finger to my chin thoughtfully.
“On Christmas, you’ve gotta take me to see the big tree lighting in Time Square.” He laughed at me.
“I dunno, kid. That’s a pretty steep price. How about...., this - you give me my guitar back, and share this cocoa with me. Then, in a little while, you let me walk you home. If these conditions are met, I’ll take you to the tree-thingy. We got a deal?”
“Deal! Won’t your dad get mad if he finds you walking around this late?” I handed him the guitar and he set it behind us.
“He passed out on my bed after a few beers. Work really tires him out, and stuff. I went to go sleep in his room, but the door was locked. And the couch really sucks. So I came outside to play, but some old geezer threw a soda can at me. Shut up, it’s late, blah blah blah.” I couldn’t help but giggle. “So I went in to make this.” He handed me the mug, which I took and stared at. “What, is my hot chocolate not good enough for her highness, the princess? Go on, it’s even got little marshmallows in it.” Without another word, I sipped it. It was the perfect temperature: not too hot, but toasty warm.
“Mmm...” I slurped up one of the marshmallows and I could feel my muscles relaxing. “Hey, Richie.” I looked at him with a slightly flushed face and smiled nervously. “If I end up sticking around for a while..., will we stay friends?”
“Friends? I don’t knooow.” He smiles, holding a teasing tone in his voice. “I don’t know if I wanna be seen around with a twelve-year-old kid.” I frowned at him with a furrowed brow. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding! Don’t look so bummed. We’re friends, yeah. ‘Sides, I need a groupee for when I score some hot gigs.” I elbowed him a little, and we laughed. A few minutes later, Richie walked me home. “Your mom’s not gonna get mad at you when you get up there, for ditchin’ that thing-a-ma-bob?”
“Depends on whether or not I’ve broken the rule.” He looked at me curiously. “The rule is, I have to get home before she does. So as long as she’s still out, I’ll be fine.”
“It’s probably midnight, so I wouldn’t be so sure.” I shook my head dismissively.
“Thanks, again, for walking me home.”
“Anytime, Shay.” Something about the way he said my name made me shiver. Maybe it was because we had been calling me kid all day, and hearing my actual name come out of his mouth was a delightfully refreshing change. “Night.” With a turn, he started walking away.
“Night, Richie...” I watched him walk away for a few moments, and then headed inside. It was so much warmer in the building, and I felt some relief. I pulled the sweater off, headed into the elevator, and made my home. I opened the door hesitantly, but inside, there was dark and quiet. I flipped on the lightswitch and looked around. “Mom?” There was no reply. I did, however, notice a message on the machine. I hit the button to play it.’
‘Hey, Shay, it’s mommy. I saw you sneak off earlier, and I’m going to assume that you found your way home. You got there before I did, so that’s okay. I’m not going to make it home tonight, so you take care of yourself, honey. I’m sorry we didn’t get to spend much time together. Ciao!’ Click. With a heavy sigh, I made my way to the sofa and sat on the couch. I curled up under a blanket and watched some TV, until I dozed off right there, listening to the sounds of Richie’s guitar in my head.
Mom didn’t come home, the next day. Or the day after that. It was another one of her work-binges, and I had to fend for myself. I went to a coffee shop down the street each morning for a fresh bagel, and spent my days wandering around, exploring. I didn’t see much of Richie; he had school during the week. I bumped into him one afternoon, and we sat on his stoop, and talked, and played music. He promised we’d do something fun each weekend, and I grew excited thinking about it. It started snowing, that next weekend. Light, powdery flakes fell from the sky and made it feel even more like Christmas. I didn’t mind the cold, so much. It gave me an excuse to wear cute fur coats. Mother still hadn’t come home, but she called to check in each day. I really didn’t mind too much. Richie and I met on Saturday and I invited him in. We stayed in all day, and ordered a pizza. Well, he ordered a pizza, and then insisted I pay for half of it. I didn’t. He felt bad and shared anyways, so I won. We put on some jazz records and he played his guitar alongside them. Sometimes he played all the wrong chords, and I got to tease him about it. We watched a movie, and he told me about some of his friends. He left when it got dark. I saw mom on Monday..., for about three hours. She apologized and ended up running back out. I saw her sporadically, that week, but not for very long. Then, on Friday, she came home for the day; and she brought me a present.
“Look, Shay. Mister Amblen got this just for you, for being such a good girl.” She handed a smooth, little black box. I opened it, and inhaled sharply. I felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest.
“Is this-...diamonds!?” I pulled up the necklace and hastily place it around my neck with shaking hands.
“You should wear it for the boy you like, mm?”
“We’re going to see the tree light up- the big one, on Christmas. I should wear it then-...hey! I never said I liked him! Richie’s my friend!”
“Just remember, sweetheart. Men come and go, but diamonds are forever.” There was a sparkle in her eyes as she said that, and I noticed that she, too, had a brilliant pair of diamond earrings that sparkled like a million stars.
“Wait- mom. Are you and Mister Amblen-..., you know..., together?”
“Oh, you know relationships can be complicated sometimes, sweetie. It’s not something I can really describe, exactly. Can you describe your feelings for this boy? Or are they a bit confusing?”
“Well-...okay, I see what you mean. But mom- please. I really, really love New York. I want to stay.” She gave me that sympathetic look and brushed a hand over my hair.
“We’ll try, Shay. We’ll try.”
Days passed. The next weekend, Richie and I took a bus to Central Park. I was so excited, and he seemed like he was having a good time. Mom wasn’t around much, in those weeks. I saw Mister Amblen sometimes, but usually just from the window. And when he picked up mom at the door, he’d always wave and smile, but never said hello. There was a part of me that was curious as to what kind of man he was, but I wasn’t going to stress over it too much. It was almost Christmas, after all! Maybe Mister Amblen would give me another gift. The day before Christmas Eve., I asked Richie if he would come over the next day; so he did. I had already spent some of my massive amount of free time decorating the apartment with mom’s Christmas goodies. I went to a lot myself to get a tree, and paid a nice man to help me get it here. I think he might have stolen an ashtray as he left, but mom had like twenty, so I wasn’t going to make a fuss over it. Richie and I decorated the tree together, and by that I mean, I decorated it and he played Christmas songs on his guitar.
“Come on, sing it!”
“I don’t want to!”
“I bet you have a great singing voice, c’mon! Don’t be a scrooge!” I sighed and cleared my throat, attempting to sing, as he had so pressured me to.
‘Silver Bells~ Silver Beeeells! It’s Christmas tiiime, in the ciiity, the ciiity~’
“Not bad, kid. But don’t quit your day job.”
“Hey!” I threw a bundle of Christmas lights at him, and he laughed. Then I stopped being mad, and laughed too. Mom wasn’t home. She was staying with Mr. Amblen for Christmas. I was so excited about the next day, that I went to bed early. But when I awoke, all of that excitement turned into frustration. Between the time I had gone to bed and the time morning came around, the blizzard hit. Not only was the tree lighting canceled, but my whole day with Richie was ruined.
“No, no. This isn’t fair! Stupid snow!” I kicked the wall below the window, staring out at the blanket of ice covering literally everything I could see. What was worse, was that I had never gotten Richie’s phone number, and had no way to get a hold of him. Going outside would be mad! I slumped against the front door, and felt my emotions well-up. After all the build-up of excitement, I felt so defeated, and disappointed. Tears began to stream down my face, and I started to sob. I was still in my pajamas, I didn’t even feel like getting dressed. I sat there for probably about an hour, and then I heard yelling from outside and down the hall.
“Shay!” My ears twitched. “Shay, kid! Which one of these things are you in?” I scrambled to my feet and opened the door, yelling in response.
“Richie!? Over here!” He ran over, and for a moment, I jumped up and down out of sheer excitement. “Oh my God, how did you get here? Are you crazy?” He was covered in snow, wearing a thick brown coat and a black, wool hat. His dark, curly hair was sticking out from under it and he was visibly shivering. “The heat’s on, come on!” I grabbed onto his arm and pulled him inside.
“They might have canceled the thingy-thing because of the stupid storm, but I said I was gonna spend Christmas with you, and I keep my promises.” He looked at me and took his hat off, giving a snort of a laugh. “Nice outfit.” I glanced down at my pajamas and felt severely embarrassed, my cheeks reddening.
“I..., well...”
“Relax, will ya?”
“Go sit down and warm up, okay? I haven’t made breakfast yet or anything, but-...there’s some leftover Thai food in the fridge. I’m going to go change.” I ran off to my room and shut the door, locking it. Suddenly, I was filled with glee. I had already picked out my outfit: it was the same red dress I wore when I met Richie. Very Christmas appropriate. I rummaged through my closet, pulling out those black, strappy heels that I wore on that same day. What he didn’t know, is that I had practiced walking in them. The last thing I put on, and put on slowly, were those diamonds. I draped it around my neck and stared at myself in my mirror, feeling like the holiday queen. I opened the door to find Richie sitting at the table, shuffling noodles in his mouth. But as he saw me walk over his eyes snapped open and they dropped right out.
“Wow, look at you! You can walk in those things now, huh? Didn’t we talk about waiting until you’re thirteen?” He reddened a little and, for a moment, avoided eye-contact with me.
“I’ve been practicing.”
“Those are some pretty gemstones around your neck.”
“They were a gift from mom’s boss. Which reminds me-” I ran over to the tree in the living room, pulling up a box covered in bright red wrapping paper. I walked back over to Richie, offering it to him. “Merry Christmas!”
“Woah, I didn’t know we were exchanging gifts.” He took the box and set in his lap, pulling something out of his pocket. A small box, which he handed to me. “Good thing I came prepared. Here ya go, kid.” I beamed and took the gift from him, slowly unwrapping its gold paper. But then he stopped me. “Hold on, me first.” He tore the paper right off of his, opening up the box. It was full of red-paper filling, which he tossed out until he got to the actual present inside. He pulled out, from the box, an encased record.
“Remember that record we played last week, that you said you really liked? Well, I went down to the record store and bought you the same one, so you can listen to it whenever you want. You said you had a record player, right?”
“Of course I have a record player. Who do you think I am? And this is great! Thanks, kid. Now open yours. He sat the record on the table and stood, and I finished opening up the box. What I found inside, was confusing. I held it up: a small, green, leafy plant that was tied with a red ribbon and had a couple of decorative acorns glued to it. “You know what that is, don’tcha?” I held it up to look at, and he stood in front of me.
“Is this-...” He cut me off. My eyes snapped open, and everything around me seemed to screech to a halt. He was kissing me! Me, kissing, me! I just stood there, kind of dumbfounded, and then I closed my eyes and I leaned into it a little more. My heart was thumping so loud, I think the neighbors could probably hear it. Our mouths never opened, our lips just pressed together. It wasn’t just a kiss, it was my first kiss. And probably Richie’s. I didn’t even notice at first, when he pulled away. My lips were still hanging there, pursed. Though after a moment, my eyes opened up. I part my lips to speak, but he spoke first.
“I like you, Shay.” I was stunned. “But..., listen. I’m young, and you’re a kid. And all of that complicated relationship stuff..., that’s for adults and older kids, right? So, I want to make you a promise. For now, let’s stay friends. And later on, when we’re at that age, I’m gonna make you my woman. Sound good?” I couldn’t believe my ears. I literally had no words. After a pause, I just nodded, smiled, and laughed. And so did he.
Mother was home for New Years. She took me shopping at the heart of the city, and we had our hair done. I had mine cut in layers; it was cute. Her hair was always as long as Rapunzel’s, and draped down her back with perfect waves and curls. As much as I tried, I could never do my hair like that. She was always such a goddess. We stayed up late, drinking apple cider and pretending it was champagne. Richie was out with his dad that night at some party, and I didn’t see him. I was really bummed that I didn’t get to see him at midnight. January went by fairly quickly, and then we were into February. While Richie and I hadn’t had any romantic moments since our Christmas kiss, he did leave flowers and a box of chocolates at my door on Valentine's Day. He didn’t want to see me that day, though. He said it’d be, ‘too much like a date.’ I thought he was silly, but I wasn’t really worried about it. I was happy. I had so much fun hanging out with Richie and exploring New York. He took me to all kinds of neat places. We were out on the town every weekend. Sometimes, mom would come home for a few days. But most of the time, she was out. By the time we got into March, Mr. Amblen would actually say hello to me when he picked her up. I would wave, and smile. He seemed nice enough, and he had given me my second-most prized possession, which I kept in the box it came in, neatly stashed away. My first-most prized possession, Richie’s Christmas gift, was also in the box it came in, stashed with all my other favorite trinkets. We got into April, and then May. Richie had taught me how to play a few songs on the guitar, and we would sit on his stoop and play together in the afternoons. We talked about what we wanted to do for summer: how we wanted to swim, and go on train rides. I was content, mom was content.
Eventually, summer came and went. We had never stayed in a place for so long, and I was starting to feel like New York was home. And oh, how I loved it. I adored it like it was my lover, and cherished it so. It was almost my birthday! Autumn had set in, and we got to see all the trees change color. Everything smelled like apples, and cinnamon, and pumpkin. And, unfortunately, my mom’s cigarettes. Man, I wanted her to quit smoking. When my special day finally came, the day I was going to become a real teenager, I had everything planned out. I was going to spend the first part of the day with mom, at the apartment, and then Richie and I were going to go to the cafe down a few blocks for dinner. His treat, too. I woke up in the morning, the newest thirteen-year-old on the block- of course, Richie already had another year up on me by now, but still... - feeling like a million bucks. But when I came out of my room to say good morning to mom and receive my first, ‘happy birthday,’ everything went wrong.
I stood there, mortified by what I saw. There were three strange men on the couch, men I had never seen before- suits. The man in the middle had mom on his lap, and she was staying completely still. There was a chair in front of them, on which sat Mister Amblen, who was tied down with rope, cowboy style, and had a rag in his mouth. I didn’t know whether to scream, run back into my room and hide, flee down the fire escape, or call the police. The biggest man, the man in the middle, had a gun in one hand, and had his other draped around my mom’s midsection.
“There she is!” Said the husky man, with my mom on his lap. “Shay, right? Birthday girl? Come on in! I promise, I won’t hurt you. We’re your friends.” Mother looked like she was going to faint.
“It’s..., alright, Shay. Come in and sit on the floor.” Hesitantly, I made my way over to the strange gathering. Mom looked completely stoic, expressionless, as the man’s hand that held onto her started to feel her up. I grimaced, disgusted. But they weren’t paying attention to me, anymore. I sat in silence, and listened.
“Cloe, dear, I really am sorry it had to come to this. None of this is your fault.” Mister Amblen was giving muffled sounds against the rag in his mouth, wriggling uncomfortably. “You see, when we assigned you to him, he was in a good place with us. But unfortunately, Mister Amblen has been lying to us. Luring him here was our best option. Now, don’t you worry, darling, we have another..., associate who we’ll be transferring you to. One who hasn’t been causing so much..., commotion. You’re still going to get paid for your entire contract, and we’re going to give you a little..., compensation, for all the hassle. Your new contract will be just as..., substantial, and we’ve already set up a new place for you to relocate. We’ll have you on a plane tonight.” I bit my tongue, and my eyes started to well up with tears. No. Not now. Not on my thirteenth birthday. I’m not leaving. Not New York. Not Richie. God, no. Mother looked at me, and I could see the sadness in her eyes.
“Please, isn’t there anything we can work out? I’m sure that Mister Amblen can do something to..., make up for his failure.”
“I’ve moved up on the world, Cloe. Just like you have. And it’s time to..., do away with the riff-raff.” Before I could even blink, or breathe, a shot was fired. Mister Amblen, who’s chest was now stained a deep crimson, shook in his chair for a moment, and then became completely still. That red began to spread like a virus, soaking his clothes. I parted my lips, screaming in silence. Though my ears were ringing, I made not a sound. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. And then, everything went quiet. I wasn’t thinking about about mom, or Richie, or my birthday, or New York, or the suits. I was thinking about the dead man in the chair. I don’t know what came over me, then. With every ounce of courage I could muster, I ran for the door.
“Shay!” My mom yelled out at me as one of the other two men grabbed me, holding me in place. I flailed, like a fish out of water. “Please, I’m not ready to leave yet! I have to see someone, please! I’ll be right back! Don’t make me leave, please! It’s my birthday! My birthday!”
“Shut her up!” The man holding me suddenly slammed his elbow into my head. Everything went black, and shifted out of focus. Before I drifted into unconsciousness, I had a single thought.
“What are you doing, mom?”
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