Lights. I was in the city of lights, and sound, and money. We had entered into summer, and mother and I had been transported to the mystical world known as Las Vegas, Nevada. We were in one of the finest new hotels on the strip, which had recently been erected by a man named Victor Alexander, who, coincidentally, was my mother’s newest ‘sponsor.’ We had our own suite, complete with room service, maids, and a jacuzzi tub. For the first time in a long time, I was thrilled. It was my first time in a harsh desert climate, and the heat during the day was brutal; the night, however, was where I was able to thrive. And while I couldn’t drink, or gamble, or go to those more..., ‘explicit,’ shows, what I could do was explore. It was my first time in Sin City, and the world was now my oyster. I didn’t care all too much about meeting Mister Alexander. It was his hotel, I was sure I’d bump into him eventually. I had money, and Vegas, being a bustling sea full of taxi cabs, made it easy for me to get around. I saw the dancing fountains, had some shaved ice by the ‘Eiffel Tower,’ and saw a fierce joust at the Excalibur. Oh, it was grand. I knew once I had seen everything I might grow bored- but hey, there was a whole lot to see. I’d get home in the late hours of the evening, take a long, hot bubble bath, and order gourmet breakfasts at 2am to have brought up to my room, just because I could. Then I’d watch television until I passed out, slept through most of the day, and started all over again. Mother was hardly ever home, and I really didn’t care. My mind was dancing in the land of lights, and I was perfectly content with things just the way they were. Though despite feeling set in my ways, something came along to shake things up a bit, like always. This was a pleasant surprise, however.
When summer faded away into fall and the weather grew somewhat cooler, the evening of my fifteenth birthday arrived. I hadn’t suspected anything devious going on; mother was gone throughout the day and as always, I went out on my usual escapades. But when I got home, clad in a new black, shimmery dress and heels, our suite had been transformed. There were balloons, and candles, and a Peggy Lee record on the turntable. Mother refused to get rid of that thing, said it was too, ‘classic.’ There was a table brought in, covered in sweet delights and a large, four-tiered cake. And on the chair, a wrapped gift with the words, ‘open me,’ written on the colorful paper in black sharpie. My mom wasn’t there, but it looked like room service had decided to pamper me. As I looked around, I found other little treats: a ribbon-tied bottle of apple cider, chocolates, and a new, fluffy robe waiting for me on the bathroom door. There was a basket, with soaps and bath beads and candles. Now this is what I’m talking about, I thought. I sampled some of the danish and pastries, had a few pieces of chocolate, and cut myself a large slice of that buttercream frosted cake. When I was satisfied, I had a glass of cider, which they had already put on ice, and opened the gift. It was a pretty large box, and I had no idea what it might be. Too big of a box for shoes..., a dress? A bag? Two dresses? My mind was swimming with possibilities. Though as I tore the paper off, I was suddenly perplexed. For within the box, which was illustrated on the cardboard, was none other than a laptop computer. I had never had a computer. I had used them in certain places, mostly libraries, but I had never actually owned one. Suddenly, a surge of excitement filled me. I was quite aware of the internet, and suddenly I had a whole new way to occupy my time. Despite my enthusiasm, however, I decided that before I got everything out and figured out how to set it up, I was going to take a bath. I took my goodie basket and my robe and crept inside the bathroom, yearning for that jacuzzi tub as if it were a long lost lover.
I never got to open up my new toy, that night. After my bath, I had sprawled out upon the couch and let a Sinatra record lull me to pleasant slumber. I remember the dream I had that night so very vividly: I was dancing in a ballroom with a strange, handsome man whilst being serenaded by violins. When I woke, it took me awhile to realize that it was in fact a dream, and that I wasn’t in some grand hall, being dipped by prince charming. I made myself a cup of coffee in the morning, the ‘morning’ being sometime around one in the afternoon, and got to work. It wasn’t too difficult to figure out, the computer. Basic set-up,give it a name, blah blah blah. Then it was up to me to figure out what I wanted to do with it. It was pretty fancy, mother must have put out a good thousand or two on this thing, I figured. I didn’t know much about computers, but I had an eye for shiny things. The laptop mouse..., pad..., square thing took me awhile to get used to, but eventually I had the internet browser open and was ready to explore. But then, it hit me. I had absolutely no clue how to hook this thing up to the internet. After snooping around, I found a connection, but I needed a password. Oh, how tedious. But after a phone call and a name drop, I had my key, and unlocked the box.
A few hours flew right by as I began my surf of the world wide web; I looked up everything from cool things to do in Vegas, to what hairstyles were trendy for the new fall season. Though after some time, I stumbled across a website that would allow me to chat with other people, one-on-one. Meeting new and interesting people was something that I enjoyed, so I set up a ‘room’ and waited for my new encounter to begin, and prayed that whoever it was, they would forgive my slow, clumsy typing. Sure enough, in about thirty seconds, someone popped up. Screen name, ‘Basslover19,’ was saying hello to me. And so, we began a dialogue; my first question being: ‘The fish, or the instrument?’
Those previous hours that seemed to pass so very quickly were nothing in comparison to how quickly the rest of the day went by. In a span of four or five hours, I learned a lot about my mystery person, who, like myself, enjoyed the sound of string instruments. He was a boy of eighteen, a jazz musician from Brooklyn. And so, of course, we instantly had a second thing in common: a love for New York. I may have..., lied about my age, a little. I told him I was seventeen. A two year difference shouldn’t be that big of a deal, right? I didn’t want him to be put-off. I was rather mature for my age, in my own mind. The bulk of our conversation consisted of music, and the arts. He seemed like a very cultured man, which drew me in considerably. Though before I knew it, he told me he had to go. I added him to my, ‘friends,’ and he told me he’d, ‘hit me up later.’ I was rather sad when he left. It had been a while since I had enjoyed a conversation to such an extent. Not since those days with Richie, anyhow. I tried not to dwell on it.
By the time I left for my nightly adventures, it was already 9pm. I decided that, instead of hitting the town, I was simply going to explore the hotel. I took the elevator down into the casino; they didn’t mind the younger generation walking around, as long as we didn’t actually touch the machines. At least, not at this establishment. And then, I saw her. The woman in the slinky red dress, standing over a man immersed in a poker game: my mother. She was truly a sight to behold; I felt like I was in the middle of a James Bond movie, and she was a the deadly, but beautiful femme fatale that was ready to seduce whoever she needed to in order to get her way. There was something breathtaking about the way she stood out in a crowd. Knowing it would probably be a bad idea to go over and say hello, I made my way back through the rows of machines and decided to head towards my favorite part of the hotel: the pool. And oh, how grand it was.
I was suddenly a Greek goddess, walking along the glazed tile surrounding the tiered, waterfall accented pools. Some of them were a crystal blue oasis, while others were bubbly hot springs, waiting to grace my smooth skin. I removed my top layer of clothing; I had a two-piece bathing suit underneath. I had learned that since I usually ended up at a pool every other day, it was wise to always wear a bathing suit in place of my usual undergarments. It was late, and although there were still plenty of people, their numbers had thinned slightly. I dove into the larger pool first and then became a water nymph, playfully floating across a lake. Although I couldn’t see the stars because of those bright city lights, I could in my head. I could see the milky way, and the constellations, and- before I knew it, I woke up from my vivid daydreams.
“Hey, kid.” I felt hands on me, shoving me backwards a little. I flailed for a moment, until I regained my balanced and tread water. For a moment, my eyes widened. I could see Richie, hear him with that word, ‘kid.’ But it wasn’t him. It was some chubby, slightly-older teenager who was clearly peeved with me. “Watch where you’re going, huh? I’m trying to relax.” He swam across to the other side of the pool in a huff, and I remained still for a moment, blinking. I guess I really need to be careful about spacing out like that. Suddenly, I heard another voice.
“Don’t mind him. He’s grumpy because his girlfriend wouldn’t buy him some stupid thing from the gift shop. He’s a brat.” I turned around, regarding the boy who was swimming behind me with a hesitant smile.
“It’s fine, really. It was my fault; I was spaced out a little.” I rubbed the back of my head, fingers pressing against my long, wet hair.
“What were you thinking about?” He looked at me with earnest curiosity. Here was this shirtless, blonde boy who was talking to me. I couldn’t help but redden a little. I brushed some of my damp hair in my face, in hopes of minimizing it. “You looked so peaceful, and happy. I could use some of that. Vegas is supposed to be fun, right? It’s hard to enjoy it when my parents are off doing their things that we can’t go to, and I’m stuck being a third wheel to my whiny brother and his stuck-up girlfriend.”
“Well...” I decided against rambling on about all of my crazy daydreams, and instead address his other comments. “Vegas is actually great fun, you know. You just have to know how to explore it. How to live it. There really is a lot to do.”
“Are you on vacation?”
“I live here, actually.”
“Woah. You live here? I’m not sure I’d want to. I’m just here until the end of the week.”
“I bet I could change your mind about this place.”
“Is that so?” He smiled at me. Man, he had a white smile.
“Are you staying here, at the hotel?”
“Yep. Fifth floor.”
“I’m in Penthouse C. You can take the elevator right up. Come up tomorrow night around seven; I’ll show you how to have fun in Vegas.”
“Woah, you live in a penthouse? You must be loaded; that’s pretty rad. I don’t know if I can just slip away from everyone, but-..., we’ll see.” I drifted over to the stairs leading out of the pool, climbing my way out as I wrapped myself up in one of the conveniently placed towels. As I gathered my clothes, so did the boy exit my fantasy water-world. “What’s your name?”
“Shay. Yours?”
“Derek. Listen, like I said, I don’t know if I’ll make it, but I’ll try.”
“I’ll give you a thirty minute window.” I turned and smiled at him. “Otherwise, I’m going to book it.” I tried not to be shy; I wanted to exude confidence, just like mother did. After all, I did have a rather adventurous spirit.
“Penthouse C, right?”
“Right.” Before I could get another word in, there was the chubbier blonde boy, standing over us.
“C’mon, Derek. Lacy’s gonna kick my ass if we don’t get back to the room soon. Tell your little girlfriend goodbye.”
“See you, Shay. It was nice meeting you.” He smiled at me again with those pearly whites and nodded his head, and then the two boys walked away. I waved, even though he wasn’t looking. I wasn’t sure if, ‘we’ll see,’ was him letting me down easy, or if he had genuine concerns. Either way, it was kind of exhilarating, putting myself out there. I was certain I was too young to worry about dating boys, but at the same time, I did rather fancy spending time with them. All dry, I went back up to my room, ate a leftover slice of cake, and fell asleep while watching old sitcoms.
When I woke up the next day, it was already noon. I stared out the big glass window, admiring the city in the daylight, before waking myself up with some coffee. We had everything we could possibly need in our suite: a full kitchen, a large bathroom, a walk-in closet. Compared to some of the places we had been, I really did approve of that one. After my morning fatigue began to wear off, I took out my new shiny for playtime. The first thing I did was go on my new favorite website, to see if ‘Basslover19” was on. And he was. As I began to type the words, ‘Hey, how’re you doing?,’ he beat me to it. Sort of. ‘What’s shakin’, kitty-cat?’ was his rendition of the usual phrase. It made me giggle a little. And so, with slightly more ease than the day before, I typed. I told him about how I planned to dress up and go out on the strip that night, and how mother was busy on the arm of a wealthy poker player. Then, somehow the conversation drifted to Eastern religions. He was quite the character, my new online friend. He told me about how he was studying Hinduism. ‘Are you Asian?’ I asked him. ‘No.’ He said. ‘I’m like a piece of french toast with a little garlic sprinkled in here and there.’ Surely he was trying to tell me he was European, but in all my wit and splendor, I asked: ‘What, no butter?’ ‘Nah.’ He told me. ‘I’m lean.’ Several snickers were had. Moments later, we were discussing Hindu chants and gods and meditation and all of these strange things I knew little about. I was fascinated, reading his words. He seemed rather enthusiastic about all of it, and certain philosophies. Then, he asked me about something called, ‘kama sutra.’ I asked him to explain it to me, and the conversation took a rather interesting turn. I was embarrassed, and suddenly thankful that he couldn’t see me. It’s not as if I had never spoken about sex, but I only really had with mother. And certainly not with a boy. On a computer. Nevertheless, I found some of what he said to be rather fascinating and stored it in my memory banks for later.
As the evening approached, my mystery friend had to bail, and I had to go get dressed. I knew there was a possibility that this, ‘Derek,’ might not show up, but I figured that I should look fabulous either way. And then I thought of mom, standing in the casino, in the red dress. I could never fill out her dress, and I certainly wasn’t tall enough; but I had a red dress of my own. Not the one I had worn on the night I met the boy on the stoop, but one mother bought me shortly before we moved, as an apology for the, ‘Buck Shaw,’ fiasco. It wasn’t as sensual as mother’s, but oh, it was gorgeous. A bright, fiery red dress: it had a tight bodice, with a lighter fabric flowing around the bottom- longer in the back, shorter in the front. Paired with some red, strappy heels, I looked like a posh party girl. I gave my dark-brown hair some loose curls, and applied just the right amount of red lip gloss. Enough to look like a woman, but not a clown or a hooker. With a spritz or two of perfume and a little mascara, I was ready to go by 6:55pm. And then came the wait. He’ll either keep me waiting and not show or magically appear at the last minute, I thought. I did give him a half-hour window. But, to my surprise, there was a knock on the door just a few minutes later. Apparently, he was right on time. I opened the door eagerly, greeting him with a smile.
“Wow! You look really beautiful with clothes on!”
“Thanks! Wait-..., what’s that supposed to mean? Were you-”
“No, no. I just-..., you were in a swimsuit last time, that’s all.” He rubbed the back of his head and smiled somewhat shyly. That gorgeous smile. Now that his hair wasn’t wet, I was able to admire it. That shoulder-length, dirty-blonde hair. He was dressed in slightly faded blue-jeans and a fitted, black shirt- much more casual than what I was wearing, but I didn’t mind the least.
“Have you eaten yet?”
“No, actually. I was hoping you knew of a good place to grab a bite. You know, since um, you know the city well enough to show me around and stuff.”
“Don’t you worry; I’ve got dinner on the agenda. I was just making sure. Let’s head downstairs and a grab a cab, shall we?” With a soft, cheery hum, I whisked past him and we made our way towards the elevator.
“I know you’re rich and all, but will you let me at least pay for my own food and half of the fare?”
“A wise person once said to me: ‘Don’t pay for nothin that’s free.’ I’ve got it covered, this time.” He looked like he was going to protest, but instead, he just laughed.
“Has anyone ever told you that you’re kind of strange?” I gave him a look. “Not in a bad way, in an intriguing kind of way. You space out in public pools, invite a stranger up to your room for a night out, live in a penthouse in Las Vegas of all places, and dress like a supermodel. You’ve got that whole mystery thing going on.” We got inside of the elevator, and I gave an amused smirk. I considered explaining a couple of things to him, but decided against it. I thought perhaps a hint of mystery may do well in my favor.
“You’re Derek, and I’m Shay. See? Not strangers, really.” He laughed again as we stepped inside of the elevator; down we went, all the way down to the ground floor. When the elevator opened, I was startled. There, standing in front of us, was my mother. And by the looks of it, she had a little to drink. And by a little, I mean a lot. She looked at me with those glazed eyes, and then at Derek, and then back at me, before smiling and waltzing on into the elevator. Quite literally. She looked like she was dancing. All I did was nod at her as Derek and I exited.
“That lady had a few too many, huh?”
“That’s my mom.”
“Woah, your mom’s hot.”
“Hey!”
“Well-..., I didn’t mean it like that. I mean, she’s old. But she just..., you know, looks good for her age.” I couldn’t be mad. He looked so flustered.
“Alright, alright. Come on.” I shook my head dismissively, flashing a smile in hopes of easing his conscious. It wasn’t long before we were outside and in a cab. After all, there were dozens of cabs outside of each hotel, just waiting to rip off tourists.
“So your mom doesn’t mind if you just up and leave whenever you want?”
“She trusts me. That, and she’s hardly ever home. I like to think I know how to fend for myself. Money helps, too.”
“I can’t believe you live here.” He stared out the window, watching the the city of lights with somewhat renewed awe. “So where are we going first?”
“We’re almost there. Don’t worry, you can’t miss it.” A few moments later, we arrived at the Stratosphere hotel and tower.
“Woah. Are we going all the way up there?”
“One step at a time, my friend. Dinner first.” He got out while I payed the driver his fare, and came around to open my door for me. I couldn’t help but feel a little giddy. I lead him inside, and before long, we were at the buffet. And oh, the buffet was grand. They had everything and anything you could possibly want; an assortment of goodies and splendor. We snagged a table for two, went to pick out our various morsels, and ate over some hearty conversation. He was from the next state over, sunny California. I was from..., everywhere. It was like the making of a good vacation romance, like in all of those cheesy movies. I knew that whatever it was wouldn’t last, but I was used to that. And hey, I had the internet now. Maybe I could stay in touch with him. Suddenly, the prospect of getting to know Derek was even more enticing. He seemed like a simple boy: he liked baseball, and going to the beach, and skateboarding. He went to school, and had a seemingly normal suburban family. I didn't mind that he was normal. I could be strange enough for the both of us.
After we had finished eating, he took the long elevator ride up to the indoor observation deck. And there, with the city before us, we could marvel at all of its wonders. We stood there, watching the lights glisten like stars and the streetcars blurring together. Luckily, neither of us seemed to have a fear of heights. After a few minutes, my brain seemed to shift back into focus, and I realized that he was holding my hand. It gave me an unexplainable satisfaction that I hadn’t felt in quite a long time. Hand-in-hand, we walked around the tower leisurely, until I had devious plan. “Come on.” I dragged him by the hand and onward to our next area of interest.
With just a couple stairs and a tick of the elevator, we were at our destination. But before we made our way down the hall, I turned and faced him. “Alright, so. You know how we’re all the way up here, right?”
“Yeah, it’s awesome!”
“Well, we need to get down.”
“Then why didn’t we take the elevator down?” As he asked, I grinned a devious grin.
“We’re going to jump.” He stared at me, giving a long pause of silence until he tilted his head a little and raised an eyebrow.
“Um..., what? Is that a joke?”
“We’re going to go skydiving! It’s something they do here at the tower; they’ll put us in a harness and we’ll jump! It’s super safe, a lot of people do it.”
“You’re crazy! I’m not doing that.”
“Oh, come on.” I pouted at him a little. “Where’s your sense of adventure?”
“What is this, an episode of The Bachelor?”
“Do you watch The Bachelor?”
“...No. My mom does.” He averted his eyes for a moment, and I laughed. “Okay, maybe a little. But only because it just happens to be on, okay? And I’m not doing that. Can’t we go do something else? Something safer, and lower to the ground?” I shook my head defiantly.
“That’s the only way we’re leaving this tower.” I grabbed onto his arm. “Come on. I promise it’ll be fun. Like the thrill you get when you’re on a roller coaster, y’know? It’ll be scary to take the leap, but once we’re in the air it’ll be fun!”
“Fine, you know what? I’ll make you a deal.”
“Name your stakes.”
“If we’re going to turn this date into a Bachelor date-”
“So this is a date.”
“Sort of; I don’t-..., let me finish. When we get down to the bottom, we have to follow protocol. You have to let me kiss you.” I felt my face burning like it was pressed against hot coals, despite my brain trying to keep cool.
“...Yeah. Let’s do it. But only if you make the jump!” This time, he took me by the hand, and lead me to the end of the hall. I felt my heart racing in anticipation of both the jump and the proposed kiss. I think I might have even been trembling. Derek, on the other hand, seemed to have a newfound confidence. And boy did I like it. When we got near the platform and were now outside and could feel the cool night air, it really started to sink in. We were up high. I payed one of the attendants and he took my bag to send down to the ground floor, and then they started to strap the harnesses on us. We had to go one at a time, unfortunately, and began to debate on who would go first. After they explained all the safety regulations with us, I decided that I would go first. My head was swimming. I can do this, right? Can I be fearless, like mom? Can I take a plunge like that? I knew I had to be brave. After all, there was a cute boy from California who was going to kiss me if we did this. And he was watching me. “God, we’re up high.” He set a hand on my shoulder.
“This was your idea, wasn’t it?” His voice was quivering. I could tell he was just as scared as I was.
“Y-Yeah. I’m fine, I’m just preparing myself.” I felt his arms come up around me to hug me from behind. He held me like that for a moment, until I pulled away from him and inched my way down the platform. One of the attendants spoke to me, then.
“Y-Yeah. I’m fine, I’m just preparing myself.” I felt his arms come up around me to hug me from behind. He held me like that for a moment, until I pulled away from him and inched my way down the platform. One of the attendants spoke to me, then.
“I’m going to count down, okay? When I get to three, jump!” He was almost yelling; it was hard to hear him over the rushing winds of our high altitude. I tried not to look down, and attempted to keep my focus on the cityscape at eye level. But I couldn’t maintain that focus, and I stared over the edge of the platform.
“You can do it!” Derek yelled. I took a deep breath.
“One!” The attendant started the countdown. I gripped the railings on each side of me and inched my way to the very edge. “Two!” I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. Time seemed to slow for a moment. I thought of the days with my horse, riding through the fields and feeling the wind rush through my hair. I spread my arms out, as if I had wings. It was as if I were on a diving board, about to jump into a vast ocean of space. “Three!” All reason went out the window, and I jumped. The whole thing was surreal. I didn’t scream, or flail, or panic. But I was filled with an inner rush I had never experienced. The winds were almost deafening; my body felt light. I felt like I was flying. In that moment, there was nothing. My world didn’t exist. It was just me, and the sky. And before I knew it, it was over. Everything slowed and I landed safely on the ground. That’s when I yelled. A loud, ‘Wooooo!’ and ‘Yeeeeeaaaah!’ of excitement. I wasn’t sure if Derek could hear me, but I hoped it would bring some relief to his nerves. And so I stared up at the tower, both looking for Derek and marveling at the distance I had traveled in my fall. My heart was still pounding, as if it had just been injected with adrenaline. I waited, and waited. It felt as if several minutes had passed. And then, I saw him freefall. I felt a mixture of anxiety, excitement, and amazement at realizing what I had just did moments before. Unlike myself, he had screamed the whole time. First a panicked shriek, and then a thrilled roar.
Just moments after he hit the ground, I embraced him. We were cheering, and shouting, and jumping up and down. Our smiles were wide, and we both burst into laughter. And then, he kissed me..., on the forehead. I looked at him, completely bewildered. “What was that!?” I chuckled and scoffed at him. “That’s the big kiss?”
“What, were you expecting something else? Don’t you think that a picture perfect Bachelor moment is too overdone?” Before I could respond, his lips were on mine. I melted. I don’t know if it was the excitement of the moment or because I really liked him, but there was something about that kiss that was magic. Not to discredit my first, but I guess having a couple years on it really made a difference. Our lips stayed together for what felt like years, pressing and pulling and indulging in a way that I had never felt before. My whole body felt like it was on fire. And when he pulled from me, I felt like I must be drunk. Without looking, I knew I had that same flushed skin and glazed eyes that mother had been sporting earlier. Oddly enough, as we stared at each other, I found myself giggling. Derek smiled at me and pressed a finger to my lips.
“Shay.” The way he said my name made me shiver. “Are you just going to keep staring at me?”
“Sorry, sorry!” It was his turn to laugh.
“Is our next destination going to be even more exciting than that? Because I think any more excitement might make my heart explode.”
“You know, I was just kind of winging it, truth be told. I had a bunch of things in mind; I just happened to decide on this one. I don’t want to wear you out all at once! You’re going to be here all week, aren’t you?”
“Well, for a few more days.” He added, after a pause, “Good choice, by the way.”
“Why don’t we head over to the strip and walk around for a little while? Then we can get you home.”
“Can I take you home with me?”
“No, but you can come over again, same time tomorrow, and we can go out again.” He leaned over for another kiss- this time, just a brief peck.
“What happens when I have to leave? Will I ever see you again, you strange mystery girl?”
“Well, there are phones, and the internet. We can always be close, mm? And when I’m out in that neck of the woods, I can come visit, or something.” I tried my best to keep it cool and casual.
“Hey.” He took my face in his hands, forcing me to look up into his blue eyes. “I’m serious. Promise me?” Gazing at him, I felt vulnerability sweep over me and leave me almost breathless. The tone in his voice was so sincere, and it made my confidence crumble. “Maybe it is just a cliche, but you can’t really go through something like skydiving with someone and not feel connected somehow afterward.” I parted my lips to speak, but he spoke again before I had the chance. “I really, really like you.” It took me a moment to gather myself, and then I simply smiled at him.
“I really, really like you too, Derek. I promise.” My voice was soft, and then picked up a little as I tried to inject some more excitement into the conversation. “So! Are you ready to hit the strip?” Before long, we were a couple of teenagers on a date in the middle of the city of lights, laughing, and dancing, and exploring. Hours seemed to just fly by; we lived in the night, and cherished its own pulse of life. As midnight loomed, we took a cab back to the hotel. He walked me up to my room and gave me a goodnight kiss: one just as passionate and lavish as the last.
After we had parted ways, I made my way into our penthouse suite and looked around. “Mom?” I had wondered earlier, briefly, if mother had drank too much and decided to come up and retire. What I heard, was a groan coming from the bathroom. The door was cracked open, and the lights were on. I made my way inside to find mother soaking in our jacuzzi tub, covered in bubbles. “You alright, in here? You’re usually not in at this hour.”
“My head hurts.” She smiled lazily, speaking in a somewhat raspy voice, as if she had a sore throat. “Mister Alexander is..., really intent on keeping all of his friends and associates drunk. Including me. It’s a wonder I haven’t had alcohol poisoning by now.”
“Why don’t you just..., fake it? You know, being drunk?”
“Somehow, he always knows. I think he’s psychic. Hey, can you put one of my records on?” It seemed like she had a little time to sober up; at least she was speaking in complete sentences. I had been out with Derek for quite some time, after all. And so, as requested, I went in the other room and put on a jazz record: smoothe, to ease her throbbing head. I came back inside and sat on the rug next to the tub, giving a content sigh.
“What kind of man is Mister Alexander?” I glanced up at mom, letting my muscles relax.
“Victor is..., a man who likes taking risks. Getting this hotel running was a gamble on its own, and he’s no stranger to high-stakes poker games.” She brought some of the soapy waters up over her arms and shoulders. “I don’t think he’s a bad man, but I do think he’d do just about anything to get ahead.” I thought about what she said for a moment, yawning into my palm every so often. I made sure to keep my voice at a reasonable level, in case she was still feeling hungover.
“Mom.”
“Hm?”
“What do you do when you really like someone, but you know they won’t be around forever?”
“No one’s around forever, Shay. I won’t be here forever. Life is ever changing, ever evolving. It constantly moves, and shifts, and revolves. All we can do is enjoy the time that we have with those people we care about. Make the most out of it, and cherish every moment and memory.”
“Wow, mom. Deep.” She chuckled at me. “Way to get all serious.”
“It’s something you realize, as you get older. But let me tell you this, my beautiful girl. If you really care about someone, do whatever you can to hold onto them. You don’t ever want to have any regrets.”
“Do you have regrets?”
“Me? Maybe a couple little ones. Never let yourself build on them. We’re too fabulous for that.”
I woke up in the middle of the night, thirsty. It was a rare occurrence; I usually slept like a rock. I crept up into the main room to find mother sprawled out on the couch, face first into a pillow, asleep. And so I invaded the kitchen for a glass of juice and made way back to my room, drinking and sitting on my bed. My first instinct was to crawl back under my covers and try and fall back asleep, but something seemed to tug at my attention: my laptop, peaking out from the small writing desk at the other end of the room. I pulled it out and brought it over to where I had been sitting, logging on to see if my mystery friend was awake and around. He wasn’t, so I decided to look at some local shows in order to decide where Derek and I would be headed tomorrow night. However, about ten minutes later, I heard a ‘ping,’ and there he was, online. He sent me a message within seconds.
‘You’re up late, kitty-cat.’
‘My name’s Shay.’
‘We’re on a first name basis, now?’
‘Sure, why not?’
‘Works for me.’
‘What, aren’t you going to tell me your name?’
‘I’ll make you a deal.’ He paused, and I stared at my screen.
‘A deal? What kind of deal?’
‘Do you have a phone in that fancy penthouse of yours?’
‘Yeah...?’
‘I’ll give you my phone number. Call me, and I’ll give you my name.’ I hesitated, but there it was, his phone number, staring me in the face just seconds later. There was a part of me that instinctively knew I must have been doing something bad. At least, I felt that way for a while. A certain pang of guilt and a churning in my stomach. He was a stranger, after all. I wasn’t unaware of the concept of online sex offenders. What if he was an old man? Well, if he is, I can just hang up, I thought. He’s just a cool guy who wants to hang out. A New Yorker, at that. It’s not like he asked for my room number so he could call me. He gave me his. We had three telephones in the suite, one of which was on my bedside table. And so, after I had worked up the nerve, I picked up the phone and called. The ringing felt like it lasted for ages. And then, suddenly, I heard a voice. A smooth, youthful voice.
“I was starting to think I had scared you off.” He chuckled a little, and somehow, it eased the knots in my stomach.
“No, no. I just..., had to get the phone. I have to be kind of quiet, my mom’s sleeping. But you can hear me alright, can’t you?”
“I can.” There was a brief pause. “Anthony.”
“Huh?”
“My name. It’s Anthony. Not Tony, either. I like the full thing. I have something I want you to listen to.”
“Alright, Anthony.” I smiled a little, leaning back against some pillows in a comfortable lounging position on my bed. After a few moments of quiet, I heard the low humming of bass in my ears. Snazzy riffs and pulsing jazz beats that made me sway and bob my head enthusiastically, even though it was just through the phone. When he finished, I clapped quietly against the phone.
“Do I get to hear you play, now?”
“Maybe tomorrow, when I don’t have to worry about waking up mom.”
“Are you going out on the town again, like you always do?”
“Something like that.”
“Out to meet boys?” I hesitated for a moment. I wanted to tell him about Derek, but for some reason, my brain short-circuited and prevented me from doing so.
“Maybe. Who knows? This is Las Vegas, after all.”
“I like your voice; it’s soothing. And don’t think I’m being creepy, I’m just forward.”
“Um..., thanks?” I gave a soft chuckle. “Don’t worry, if I think you’re creepy, I’ll just hang up.”
“Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence. So, are you ever coming back to New York?”
“I’d like to, obviously. It’s only come up every time we’ve spoken.”
“If you’re ever unhappy where you are, just let me know. I’ll come whisk you away somewhere. Maybe to some mountain cabin. We can curl up by the fire, and make love into the moonlight.”
“I thought you were trying not to be creepy?”
“You didn’t hang up, so I guess I’m doing alright.” The man had a point.
“Tell me more about this..., cabin.” Our late night phone conversation went on for a lot longer than I had anticipated. We talked about dreams, and ambitions; both of which I had only spoken about with a select few. And we talked about sex. He was just..., so easy to talk to. Sure, a part of me felt guilty. But the other part..., the other part of me felt exhilarated. When we ended our call, I made a move to shut off my laptop, and he sent me message. ‘Goodnight, you sexy minx.’ If I was a feline, that comment would have made me purr. And so the screen went down, and I went to bed. Whatever guilty conscious I had faded away into soft pillows and a warm, plush blanket.
The next day, I awoke thinking about some of the images that Anthony had put into my head. But as hours passed and he was nowhere to be found on the world wide web, my thought shifted back to Derek, and our evening. As I made plans throughout the day and went through about four different outfits, all guilt and uncertainty went out the window. I was excited; I had never felt so alive, so real. I loved the attention, the company, and all of the sensations that went along with it.
My date arrived right on time. I invited him in, poured him a glass of cider, and greeted him with a brief, tender kiss. I was in the bathroom, putting on those last finishing touches, when I heard him call my name. “Shay?” I came out, looked at him, and paled. There he was, sitting on the couch with my computer in his lap, staring at me. “Phone conversation must have went well, huh? Sexy minx?” I just kind of stood there for a while, dumbfounded. At first, I chastised myself for leaving it out in open view. And then it sunk in that my conversation with Anthony was kind of..., cheating. We’re not in a relationship, though. We just like each other, we’re not exclusive or anything, or....- I’m just fifteen. Who am I kidding? What the hell do I know about relationships? I tried to reason with myself, and found my brain racing in circles. “Aren’t you going to say anything? Man, I thought you were different. You’re just like every other girl. There’s no mystery about you.”
“Don’t say that!” I cried out abruptly, visibly trembling. “It..., wasn’t like that. We just talked. He was being a little flirty. I wasn’t being flirty back! I don’t like him, he’s just some guy on the internet. But I really like you, Derek! Don’t get mad at me, I didn’t do anything!”
“Sure you didn’t. That’s what they all say; you sound pretty guilty to me. That’s what I get for trusting some crazy girl who whisks me off on an adventure. Go out with me and have me kiss you and then stay up all night with your internet boyfriend.”
“He’s not-...don’t be so angry, please. We just met, you know? I didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Yeah? Well you made me think you liked me, and I believed it. You knew I was leaving at the end of the week, were you just looking for a good time?”
“I do like you! Please, listen to me.”
“You’re just a whore, like your drunk mother.” His words shot me like an arrow. I was stunned. Though my shock and upsetness quickly turned into a hot rage that I had never, ever felt before. Logic and reason completely vanished, and I hit him. I slapped him right across the face, as hard as I possibly could.
“Get out.” I said it, opened the door, and then said it louder. “Get out!” He didn’t hesitate. He stormed out in a huff and slammed the door behind him. I did some door slamming of my own, going into my room and locking myself inside. I flopped on my bed, buried my head into a pillow, and cried. Cried, cried, and cried some more. I delved into my solitude as if it were a comforting space. I didn’t want to go out, or even eat. I wasn’t sure how much time had passed, and I didn’t care. Until I heard a knock on the door.
“Shay, I need to talk to you.”
“Not now, mom. In a bit, okay?”
“No, now. Unlock your door.”
“Can’t this wait? Please?”
“It can’t.” With an irritated groan, I opened my door.
“What is it?”
“Who’s this boy that you were on the phone with last night?”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“I am worried about it. You left your laptop open and I noticed his messages. You talked to a stranger on the phone? Don’t you know how dangerous that is?”
“Since when do you care who I talk to? You never mind when I go out and talk to people.”
“Still, you need to be careful. And I always worry. If someone you meet online is asking for your phone number, it may not be a good idea to just throw that out there, okay? I don’t think you should talk to him anymore.”
“Don’t tell me what to do, okay? You have no right to tell me what to do when you’re out getting drunk every night and with a different man every day of the week.”
“Shay! What’s the matter with you? What has you so worked up?”
“It’s none of your business.”
“It is my business, honey. Did something happen?”
“Leave me alone!” I grabbed my purse off of my bedside table and sped past her.
“Shay! Don’t you dare leave this room!” I did- and with another door slam.
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